Failed Science? No worries. Here’s your straight-up PhD in Bae-ology.

Disclaimer: We may not have discovered the scientific wonders of Bae all by ourselves. We’re not old enough, or smart enough for that.

Call us old-school, but we are graduates of the school of hard-knocks, so that does count for something. We’re less talk and more action. We do first – ask questions later. 

By jumping straight to the testing stage, we often get a sense of how things work in real-world settings. Bae included. 

This approach has always given us enough cred to quickly know when someone is having us on, and enough culture to know the difference between pinots and noirs. 

So listen closely. Take notes if you must. Because everything we say about Bae is actually backed-up by experts who do know better than us. 

We’ve done the trials to know how-it works, and now we’ve copied off the smart kids to try and get our homework in on time.

LAB REPORT: PhD BAE-OLOGY 

‘Pyrus Pyrifolia’ (Bae) is an effective cure for ‘Adult Veisalgia’ (Hangover). 

Basically, we aim to show how Korean pears are prize-fighting, hangover-kicking fruit ninjas – AND – pregaming Bae before any such big night is the only way to experience wellness after badness. 

IV. PROCEDURE

A randomised trial conducted with 14 healthy young people to examine effects of Bae before alcohol:

1. 7 subjects to drink placebo liquid. 7 subjects to drink Bae. 
2. Approx. 30 mins after – all subjects to then consume 540 ml of Alcoholic Spirits. 
3. Observe all subjects as they partay. 
4. Blood and urine samples to be taken the morning after.
5. Hangover symptoms to be cited and noted down for additional cross reference

V. RESULTS

The randomised trial conducted with 14 healthy young people saw the ‘Lucky 7’ benefit from consuming Bae before alcohol:

1. ‘Blood Alcohol’ readings were significantly lowered by Bae. 
2. ‘Trouble Concentrating' was significantly improved by Bae. 
3. 'Impaired Memory' was significantly improved by Bae.
4. ‘Sensitivity to Light and Sound’ was significantly improved by Bae.
5. ‘Hangover Severity’ was significantly alleviated by Bae. 

The ‘Other 7’? Vowed to “never drink again”

Some Scientist:  

Bae successfully impacted the enzymes that are in charge of processing alcohol, Alcohol Dehydrogenase (ADH) and Aldehyde Dehydrogenase (ALDH). By doing so, Bae sped up the rate of metabolising alcohol and eliminating alcoholic absorption. 

Score.

The testing also found that Bae reduced blood acetaldehyde levels - a toxin that is thought to be responsible for hangover symptoms. Of the 14 subjects surveyed, the team saw the biggest improvement in the Lucky 7’s ability to concentrate.

Double Score.

VI. CONCLUSION

Significantly, socially and scientifically speaking – Bae Stands Up.  

There you go folks. Our lab report in plain English. All trial and no error. 

Call us lucky. Call us savvy.  Just don’t call us when you’ve got a hangover ok!
You don’t believe us? The jokes on you. 

Don’t think twice. 

 In a world full of empty promises and conspiracy theories – trust Bae.